A birth mother wants to know how to tell her sons that they have an older sibling whom she placed in adoption. Adult adoptees of various ages seek information about their heritage and their medical history. An adoptive family and a birth mother in an open adoption are having problems with their relationship and need help to improve their communication. A birth mother is about to have a reunion and wants counseling about this complicated process. These are examples of the kinds of requests that are facilitated regularly by Spence-Chapin's Adoption Consulting Team (ACT).

Experienced Professionals Support All Members of the Adoption Triad

Our team is one of adoption professionals with many years of experience. In fiscal year 2005, we provided services for almost 700 adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents of children under 18 who came to Spence-Chapin requesting information, guidance and/or counseling. Of the total, 607 were adoptees and 67 were birth parents from Spence-Chapin and the former Louise Wise Services and Talbot Perkins Childrens Services, whose clients are also being served by Spence-Chapin.

Who Calls ACT for Assistance? How Can ACT Help?

The majority of our adoptees contact us when they are in their 30s and 40s. Returning to the agency is seldom a casual undertaking, and they often begin by asking about their medical information, as that doesn't feel disloyal to their adoptive family. For many it is essential to hear their 'story' directly from the agency, and Spence-Chapin has a responsibility to be candid and trustworthy.

State law allows us to give adult adoptees all of the 'non-identifying information' available in the case records, and we do. We try to put the information into a context, to give them a picture of birth parents' relationship: how they met, what they were interested in, their hopes for the future, etc. We include information on the extended families as well. It is remarkably valuable when an adoptee learns that his/her birth mother planned for their future with great care and to know that they were not abandoned. We have great empathy for our clients, so it is frustrating that current law does not permit full disclosure of all facts relevant to their life.

Now that attitudes about adoption are changing, more birth mothers (and some birth fathers) are returning to find out how their adult children are doing, to update their medical information and to ask about a possible reunion. The New York State Adoption Information Registry allows birth parents and adoptees to register for contact with each other and notifies them after when both have registered for contact. However, the mutual consent regulation does not permit ACT staff to reach out to suggest that they register. In spite of the difficulties imposed by the current New York state laws, the Spence-Chapin ACT team does its best to ensure that each client receives as much help or information as possible, along with a warm and caring response.

How Do I Contact ACT for Assistance?

To get in touch with the Spence-Chapin ACT team, please 212-360-0259. To help us access your records more quickly please provide your name, birthdate, address, daytime telephone number and your adoptive parents' names. Your adoptive parents will not be contacted.